Little Bird

It's time...

2011-12-22T22:43:00.008Z

2012 is going to be rad I can feel it.

Already lined up a holiday in April.
Lined up a new client - whos clothing I adore.
Spent the last part of 2011 saving for my tax/holiday money/whatever I want.

I know that last part probably sounds like any normal person but I've never been able to save in my entire life! I'm almost to a grand and my credit card is completely wiped (again always been shit with that) just feels good to know that I'm finally putting away a decent amount each month. Also, good to know that the money I'm saving I'm not missing throughout the month. I guess as I'm freelance I get paid at random times (12th of the month, end of the month and every week) I'm not paying for any travel and barely paying for any food. Saying that I am paying some rent to the 'rents (ahem), phone (which is hefty 'cause I have to use it for work a lot), insurance for macbook and phone etc etc etc.

Went to London weekend just gone. Went to Soulwamas. Not sure if it's my age (I'm 24) or what but I was fucking over it before it even began. The music was good it was just the people. Proper little wankers pilled up bumping into me and even worse thrusting themselves up against me, had to get angry with one of them and tell him where to stick it.

Even though I had 4 mango vodkas and diet lemonade, a shot of Sambuca and two pints of Cider I still remained relatively sober...Weird huh? Maybe because I wasn't feeling the evening I didn't get drunk? Who knows.

I came back on the Sunday and spent the WHOLE of my train journey looking for a flat in London. I'm thinking a limit of all incl. for £600 would do. Again, travel wouldn't be needed as I'll be working from home. Obviously I would need to travel somewhere at some point but I'm thinking of living in or around Fulham to be close to my Sister. I saw a real cute place, with three other girls who are sociable but like a chiller by themselves too for £450 all incl. in Fulham...I contacted the former flatmate and she told me the place had gone - super gutted...In hindsight I think seeing what my tax amount is going to be and going on a couple of holiday's next year would be a lot better then moving up and rushing about straight away...I can always visit!

I honestly wish everyone the best success, happiness and 2012 fun times. 2011 has been good to be and it's been bad to me but what's the rough without the smooth aye?

xxx

My gorgeous friend Lailah sent me this! xxx

Mango vodka!

Blog me

2011-11-24T23:18:00.007Z

So, since I was 14 I have been writing about my life online. I used to use Livejournal.com - this was somewhat tragic as my brain used to literally spill out, topic of most conversations was alcohol, boys, daydreaming about boys whilst at school, not doing that well at school 'cause all I wanted to do was be online and make websites, my somewhat concerned Mother who I thought at the time was being totally unreasonable and awful to me and about me.

10 years on and I am still blogging and geeking out. Sometimes I feel my best when I'm behind a computer screen - this is always something I've wanted to do and I've said on many occasion that I am overwhelmed by my creative blogs success and I am overwhelmed with people's response to me as a worker and person. I've reached a milestone this year by creating work for myself through freelance and trawling through websites. I'm so proud of where I am at and I only hope that my little ditzy, creative, fun filled, crazy mind continues to bring happiness, love and joy not only into my heart but my soul.

It's not only blogging (PR) that's made me so stoked this year it's the incredible people that I've met and already knew that have opened up my eyes to so many wonderful things.

I used to be quite shy and I used to be such a nervous un-confident wreck - thanks to my friends and my family I've become someone I never really thought I would be - this is turning into some thank you for accepting me speech huh?

A couple of people have noted that I'm 'over sensitive' to life and achievements I can assure you I don't sit in my room crying when I get an e-mail from a rad magazine or blogger for features within work. I am passionate and caring through every aspect of my life and I think that shows willing to succeed and be the best person you can be. I'm struggling with some other stuff and as I've got older I've become more feisty (whoops) but let's face it I was such a puss before...I totally had an anxiety moment last week. I was freaking the fuck out, everything was such a mental mare - nothing to wear (I clearly do, my wardrobe is BULGING with stuff), face was a mare (I'm not the ugliest person in the world!), I couldn't find my phone or wallet which stressed me the fuck out...When I went to meet my bum chum Christine was still freaking out...Does this mean I'm mental and I can't cope with my life?

Anyways, not too sure what the purpose of this is about, like I said a total brain spill for me. I'll probably read back on this in a few weeks and LOL but right now it seems fitting.

Halloween I did jack shit. Went to Chelsea had a chiller, did some shopping (I <3 Spitalfields) ate some food - first Nandos & Hummingbird bakery ever. Saw some babes. Went to see Incubus with Emma the week after. Ahhh Brandon Boyd is still a massive hunk. Hung out with the babes in the Natural History Museum - ate my first ever Subway...Steak and cheese melt, was yum! Went to Brixton for the Fireworks - pretty gnarly.

My friend Lailah saw a Barnes bus and put it on her Instagram. We joked about how we should fill it with babes boys and have a little party.

I saw my little lambies this week which was lovely. It's always good to get out and about and roll around (literally) and be silly. Steph's 25th on Saturday - WOAH.
Winter Wonderland next week, has anyone been? Is it good? Then before we know it my sister is back from Australia and it's fucking Christmas (yes, I needed to add 'fucking' there) dudes. Then the most shit month of the entire year - January...Then a even more pointless time of the month, then my Birthday and PARTY PARTY PARTY (more about that soon) then Summer with no sunshine I bet, then Christmas again. Oh and hopefully time to squezze in NYC and Barcelona - pumped.

Pictures.

Holy shit!

2011-11-06T23:39:00.009Z

So, no update on my personal life since August huh? Well, I've been stoked on my life for a while now.

Left one of my jobs, was ace, good brands, good people but I was working weekends and it became a depressing chore rather then a fun exciting career move. Bit the bullet and decide to leave. Left on good terms which is always nice, I always seem to leave jobs on good times, maybe 'cause I'm such a nice babe...Who knows.

So, moving on, more hours with Street Casuals and within a few weeks of leaving the marketing company I've joined two new beautiful amazing exciting companies. Free to Be Supreme and Tramp Boutique. I'm totally pumped to start with both companies. So please check them out here and here. I will be in charge of their twitter and Facebook as well as doing their PR - so exciting, I'm such a nerd it's unreal - who would of thought me geeking out at the age of 13 maintaning my No Doubt fan website (NERD!) and blogging on Livejournal would become my career, it's totally unreal.

Part from work which I'm in love with, I've been pumped on social activites - mainly London based fun with the sis, babes and beautiful friends as well as sticking to my roots and hanging with my Eastbourne babes. xxx

I got to see my Tristan again after three years, fucking stoked - was so weird. I spotted him in the kitchen went in and tapped him on the shoulder and it was the raddest feeling we didn't know what to do except for hug and be like HEYYYYY and hug and then run outside for catch ups. He's amazing. I cried when he left though, what fucking loser. xxxxx

Selection of piccies from the past 3 months.

Taking Mr.Roar on a walkie.

Birdworld with Christine. xxx

Pub times with Joanna. xxx

Roar enjoying the sunshine.

Me before Lazy Oaf's press event.

Me being bored in the laundrette.

Old school friend James, haven't seen him in YEARS and Orchie. xxx

Brighton hangtime with Lai. xxx

Danny looking hot to trot. xxx

Tshepo, Olivia and I. xxx

I'm in love with this photograph. xxx

NO DOUBT. xxx

Very random find on the way to the pub with Katie. xxx

WOWIE! xxx

Lai and Luke at Jack's party. xxx

Dead roses at Fran's flat.

Hungover at Raysteade.

Gorgeous painting in the Hollywood.

Jimmy in the station after Deftones. xxx

Tom and I in a pub before Deftones. xxx

Cheers Guy! xxx

Love a roast! xxx

Banksy and MJ in Brighton. xxx

Fran's shoes and mine. xxx

Early Christmas present from my sister. xxx

Pretty busy lady.

2011-08-21T13:13:00.007+01:00

So, since I last updated I have gone to London numerous times for Lovebox, Wireless and general activities. Brighton a few times for hang outs, meetings etc. I have also completed the street art summer competition for Don't Panic and successfully carried out the Playgroup Festival project - lovely.

This weekend has been my favourite of them all though, I finally got to see my best friend from University after 3 years. Tears happened and the general 'Oh my god, I can't believe we are here with each other again, i love you" happened a lot...It's so strange to have that feeling of nothing but utter love for someone, someone that I can trust with my life and that if he was pissing me off I can sort him out and vice versa...I don't think there's every really been someone so amazing in my life. We've made a pact to not let it be another 3 years until we see each other...When he left to go home, we cried. So pathetic but hey! That's love for you.

I ended up in Swindon's Great Western Hospital yesterday with Lailah who had unfortunately been stung by a wasp and had to have adrenaline pumped into her and she went into an aphaletic shock, which was super scary but she turned out okay. If we hadn't of called an Ambulance she probably would have died which is insane! Glad little LaLa is okay.

Summer Strawberries.

Batcave at Longleat.

Models Own 'Sophies Pink' and Flying A's glitter.

Sunset.

Dinosaurs in Brighton.

LaLa in Hospital.

Deer at Longleat.

Lovebox.

Snacks on the way to Lovebox.

I know who I am, but who are you?

2011-06-19T21:08:00.007+01:00

I've been re-reading The Bell Jar recently whether that's a good idea or not I'm not sure. I first read it when Gwen Stefani said she quoted it in some of the songs on Return Of Saturn (Loser I know!) also, shortly after finding this out I found out that the words Wiona Ryder writes in her diary in Girl Interupted is also from the book.

Here are some of my favourite quotes from the book:

The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 8

There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the extra person in the room."
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 2

The sickness rolled through me in great waves. After each wave it would fade away and leave me limp as a wet leaf and shivering all over and then I would feel it rising up in me again, and the glittering white torture chamber tiles under my feet and over my head and all four sides closed in and squeezed me to pieces.
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 4

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.'"
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 8

After reading these you will probably assume that I am in some shiverled mess about my life but to be honest I couldn't be happier right now. A few heart pangs are occuring and I'm trying to figure out if that is because I really care or if it's because, actually in reality I am a cold hearted bitch...

I remember writing all my stories about my life on livejournal - something that I'm very happy that I did do, I think it's important to write down your life, your passion, your fashion! As I become a touch typer aged 13 I felt that doing this online was the best way as writing it in a journal wasn't as easy for me as I couldn't allow myself to write as fast as my brain was thinking...I do wonder sometimes that life is just full of rules and if I say something that I strongly believe in I'm deemed a bitch...But I'm I? Least I'm honest...Ho hum!

In other news, I am doing a competition with Channel 4 and Don't Panic you can check it out here. Some really nice stuff is coming through and hopefully it's been sent off to the write people for some decent coverage. If you'd like more information please contact me on stephanie@dontpaniconline.com

In other other news, I'm completely in love with the idea of three of my best friends and I going to Longleat! HELLO little animals xxx and stately home and three of the best people in my life HELLO!!!

I LOVE this song and No Doubt are releasing an album real soon and I might piss myself when I go and see them because I am THAT excited...It would make my life for realz

Life Oh Life

2011-06-14T20:59:00.007+01:00

I have had the best few weeks ever - meeting amazing people, seeing more amazing people and in general pretty high times. Here's some photos from my past few weeks:

I am currently getting myself involved in a project with Don't Panic for Channel 4 a Street Style competition which I feel will be super fun!

Even though spending a lot of time on the internet is my job (and I LOVE it) I feel it's time for me to spend some time away so I am making some big plans to save and go and spend some time with my friend Spasia in New York as well as getting to some other places to see some amazing sights. Let's think about it I'm 25 next year, I haven't been on holiday since 2001 and my current internet (work) obsession is becoming wildly un-healthy. This all sparked when I met a few bloggers in London a couple of weeks back...Why I'm I spending so much time online exchanging links, knowledge, friendships when I can go and hang out with them...Ehhhhh? Good times are a coming and I'm very excited.

Next few weeks are going to be exciting too as I get to spend time with my sister at Wireless and Lovebox and some little exciting projects to further my life. I do hope by the time I'm 25 I've progressed a little further...It is totally time to play as hard as I work, life is literally what you make it and you have to protect, love and cherish yourself as well as everyone you love in it.

Random shiz this week:

Quotes

2011-06-09T15:00:00.002+01:00

Since I can rememember I've always loved reading, quoting, remembering my life in some kind of documentated way, diary, livejournal, scraps bits of paper, notepads...Here are some of my favourite quotes...

"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery"- Malcolm X

"Immediately after saying this, Royal realised that it was true"- Narrator, The Royal Tenenbaums.

"You had to do someone else, You should of been by yourself, Instead of here with me."-Skunk Anansie-Secretly.

"And when I looked at the page infront of me I realised, This was my life" - Gwen Stefani, No Doubt, Storytellers.

"3 I foretold the former things long ago,
my mouth announced them and I made them known;
then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass.

4 For I knew how stubborn you were;
the sinews of your neck were iron,
your forehead was bronze.

5 Therefore I told you these things long ago;
before they happened I announced them to you
so that you could not say,
'My idols did them;
my wooden image and metal god ordained them.'

6 You have heard these things; look at them all.
Will you not admit them?
"From now on I will tell you of new things,
of hidden things unknown to you.

7 They are created now, and not long ago;
you have not heard of them before today.
So you cannot say,
'Yes, I knew of them.'

8 You have neither heard nor understood;
from of old your ear has not been open.
Well do I know how treacherous you are;
you were called a rebel from birth.

9 For my own name's sake I delay my wrath;
for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you,
so as not to cut you off.

10 See, I have refined you, though not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

11 For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this.
How can I let myself be defamed?
I will not yield my glory to another."
The Bible, Isaiah, Chapter 48.

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.

Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

-- Edna St. Vincent Millay

I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir, because I'm not myself you see.- Alice in Wonderland.

"Life is a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of time. Memories fade, relationships dissolve, and our control on life slips away. Few things, if anything, remain constant."

...
"We favor the simple expression of the complex thought.
We are for the large shape, because it has the impact of the unequivocal.

We are for flat forms because they destroy illusion and reveal truth.

The artist was attempting to make art more than something to just look at,
they wanted it something to be involved in, something too big to ignore.

It is our function as artists to make the spectator to see the world our way,
not his way." - Le Tigre

What you waiting for?

2011-05-01T19:42:00.011+01:00

Past few weeks have been MAD I'm kind of in a love hate relationship with work at the moment - I completely LOVE what I'm doing what I've been passionate about for so long yet I am going slightly mental that I am constantly going at it all the time. I finish one job and start the other and sometimes do three at once - oh well, I spent a year and a half bopping about doing jack shit...

So, Brighton Fashion Week is very soon...about a month away now! How bloody mental is that? I'm rather excited though! I went over on last Thursday to see everyone and meet the new street style photographer and a couple of bloggers that I hadn't met yet and everyone is just so lovely, such a nice feeling to know what you're doing is appreciated - the Ready to Wear show is the main one that I am working on at the moment and it will be on the 4th June at the Corn Exchange featuring Premier Model Management, yes, they did make that Channel 4 show called 'The Model Agency' should be good - you can buy your tickets here and check out the Facebook event here...There are talks from experts (no one is 100% confirmed yet but it will be VERY awesome when/if they are!!!), make overs, things with Nando's happening and loads of other great things.

Street Casuals lookbook is coming out soon, seen some proofs and looks amazing!!! I was very lucky to receive an amazing Dr. Denim shirt and Alkr macbook cover as well.

Went on a lovely 8 mile walk with Katie last Monday. I've said this before I know I'm not fat but I don't think it hurts to shed another stone (lost one since January) I'm not sure if I'm feeling like this because I seem to be constantly around media stories and gorgeous people at the moment so I feel like I want to 'fit in' as this hasn't really ever bothered me or anyone I've been involved with before. I think what it annoying me the most is having this amazing dress that I bought a year ago that was perfecto on my to having it be a bit tight now...probably a bit pathetic as everyone is always gaining through out the year but still, annoying! So ideally another stone would be great. I'm aiming by July to have this whipped down...Kinda makes me a bit sad that I've become so conscious over something that never really bothered me...yet, in the long run I think it would be better for me. I've built up a healthy relationship with belvita biscuits for breakfast, milk, salads, green tea, nettle tea, fruit tea, snack a jacks but if I want that bitchin' bag of onion rings (I hate you Ben Loom) then I will totally dive into that, it's getting that balance of eating what you want but in proportion and exercising it through...

I did such an impulse buy yesterday and bought Snoop Dogg tickets, Can you believe it?! He's playing Brighton Dome next Sunday. So so so excited! It's going to be amazing.

I bought some mad shoes, fucking love them and a white rabbit print - time time WHO'S GOT THE TIMEEEE.

Pictures:

Diet of Ham Salad, Belvita's, Water and Green tea...

Only just got round to reading this, great for inspiration.

Before I went for a meeting with Brighton Fashion Week lovelies - rolling home at 5am after going to Audio....that wasn't planned.

Work by the amazing Eliza Rose Moore who I interviewed for Deer Brains.

Before Katie's Birthday BBQ.

Birthdays, Parties, Work, Shoes...

2011-04-13T22:49:00.008+01:00

So the past couple of weeks have been pretty hectic - with four Birthday's to celebrate, Mother's day, coping with the fact that my Mother is now on Facebook, I know right?! Holding down a competition for BFW with Beauty UK again - good times. Love those guys always so lovely and attentive, as well as holding one down with Street Casuals and Drop Out UK.

I've bought myself a Canon which I'm in love with - since I was 14 all I wanted was a macbook and a good camera now I've got both and I'm SO happy. Rory is a nightmare though and keeps barking when I take pictures.

Models Own - Baby Bloo and a painful cut on my index finger :(

I love this t-shirt and so glad I bought it before the store closed. Reminds me of the Suicide File song - Things fall apart and reminds me that yes, things DO fall apart but you know, stay strong, beautiful and hold your own...x

Now, I've never been the one to invest in loads of shoes, t-shirts and dresses were more my thing but I have fallen in love with many a pair and will be purchasing when my $$$ enters my bank account which is naughty because I'm supposed to be saving but I can't live in brogues and boots forever can I?

So here are a range from Topshop and F-Troupe...Check out the Superga's that I want here too.

Weekly pictures -

Models Own - Smash Up!

Dream Land '11

2011-03-31T18:31:00.007+01:00

This week has been totally weird, the first half I was on some sort of epihany kick and the second half I've just become really tired and forgetful - what I'm I talking about again? Oh yeah, errrmmm...So this week as seen myself doing what I seem to do best at the moment - work, crazy huh? A few years ago all I was doing was drinking.

I've seemed to of curated an obsession with Onion Rings (Cheers Ben!) and have started planning out something that could be super super exciting involving Macbeth, Deer Brains and Lazy Oaf - that will all be revealed as if and when it happens.

I've completely fallen in love with Superga's after getting a press release through from Glenn to put on Deer Brains - amazing aren't they? Modelled by Alexa Chung who tbh I think is a massive nob but it's the product we are talking about here and I am KEEN as a BEAN on getting a pair...Really really REALLY want a pair of the Libery x Nike sneakers too, I'm not a sneaker girl but the prints are so dope I cannot resist - £78 but def £78 well spent dontcha think?

I've also been in a flap about Birthday I've got four in a week and Mother's Day - I'm on the keeno poor as well after shedding out for a SLR Canon. However, I'm still with money but I know what I'm like a trip to Asda for lunch turns into a 20 quid spending spree on a sarnie, magazines, belvitas, shampoo and snackajacks, how?

I'm perving on freshcotton.co.uk again - I just can't help myself. However, everytime I go and click 'Women' it goes to men...Is anyone else having this problem?

This week's pictures:

Puppy love - been by my side most of the week.

I paid £13 for these - I am insane.

I hate you Ben Loom

Before a night out babez

A lot can happen in a week let's just say that...

2011-03-17T23:18:00.008Z

My Birthday was good, everyone was really kind and I got some amazing gifts, 'specially Bambi on DVD and this Owl necklace that one of my bessie's got me, it's amazing I think it's my favourite gift it's so cute.

We went to Southbank where Mr Matt Miller and his pal Matt joined us, dope, you literally couldn't meet a nicer person and I'm very happy to call him my pal a real life pal now too lol...then on to the 02 which was a massive mission but as we were nice and drunk we had fun travelling along to it - even the trip home was fun! There really is nothing better then getting home at 6am putting on your pjs, having a chicken burger and chips and then having a fag! I felt fine the next day just really tired. There was an absolute MARE with the club but can't really be bothered to explain and we got our tab cleared and my sister and her friend Tamryn got a free lift home worth £60 - cheers!

So, I've managed to get my hand on two of those ASOS' £20 vouchers and I have absolutely no idea what to buy, I don't mind ASOS as a shop but there's soooo much on it that I give up half way through so if anyone has any suggestions for me that would be great!

I'm crushing on Zara at the moment, which is quite funny actually as I'm not very feminine or girly but their cuts and fabrics are so nice and they have some really nice pieces up on their website at the moment:

Black Studio Dress

Linen Dress

Blazer

Quilted Jacket

Leopard Print Wash Bag

Gorgeous isn't it?

Week in pictures:

I was watching my No Doubt DVD x

Bambi, isn't that what every 24 year old gets?

Birthday x x x

It's just what Sofi and I do babez

:)

My PJ's don't you just love them? They were a Christmas present from my parents and my Mum just had to tell me that they were from Bon Marche of all freakin' places ha ha! x

Not a massively great picture but it's my Owl necklace from Katie, I love it so much it's so cute <3

We are going out for lunch tomorrow at work and I can't wait, Gringo's is great, nicest chips ever, REAL chicken in a nice bap, loads of salad and all for about £5 - so good.

Today's my Birthday and I get one every year...

2011-03-10T13:37:00.008Z

So, today I am 24. I feel pretty good for it as I feel like I've progressed with my life in the past year. I'm more happier than I've ever been and I'm stronger and more positive which is always an amazing thing. Birthday's make me laugh because I get Facebook messages, texts and calls from people who haven't spoken to me in so long - nice though I guess :) must admit there's some people who've written on my wall and I've kinda forgot about them - you know old school chums and alike.

I am off to London on Saturday with 25 chums to Proud2 - It's going to be pretty hectic rounding up the troupes I can feel it but should be good. Managed to bag VIP and free entry from lovely Yanina over at Big eyes, little soles xx I can't wait will be a good break from work! Also, hope to meet Matt and Tom.

Been doing the usual, nothing out of the ordinary - looking after Rory, he's a nightmare. He barks at all the animals on the TV, apparently the cure is to spray lemon juice in his face but surely that's not right? Does anyone know how to prevent such a naughty dog so I can watch Animal Park and Lion World?!

I bought some super duper items from a Charity store on Tuesday - went out to get my prescription pills and came back with a coat and a really nice cardie and some other bits.

My lovely long hair got BUTCHERED...

Now I'm going to be ugly for my birthday :(

Some handy e-mail hints - London Fashion Week - Deer Brains - Recruitment Agency

2011-02-27T12:04:00.006Z

I keep getting text messages from a Recruitment agency and I'm pretty sure that's not the best way to go about it? He sends me through e-mails as well. I am super grateful to have people wanting me to work for them but I've already said I don't want to work in Worthing/Brighton and that I've got 3 paid jobs already...Yet the texts and e-mails still come through.

Had a busy week last week as Street Casuals was launching the new Hundreds tees so was making full use of my e-mail account as well as grouping up advertisements and sorting out competitions with some cool magazines and blogs. Keep an eye out for all that here.

We (Deer Brains) were very kindly given tickets by Jess from Wearesocial on behalf of Vitamin Water to a show at London Fashion Week which will be up on the blog soon. Gorgeous clothes, excited to see how it went. Richard was in the press section of Marios Schwab show so it should be full of great pictures and gossip. We also had an invitation to Alex Noble who has design Ga Ga garments! No one could cover that though which is a shame but it's all good.

We also had an invite from PUSH PR to Jasper Gavida who's designs I love. Read about what went on here. Also, Hannah from PUSH PR invited us to Love Art Wear Art which is Nicole Le Grange's footwear range. Read more here.

Quite enjoyed reading this, as someone who has 6 important e-mail addresses this was a helpful way to making the most out of my replies. To be honest I do most of them anyways but it's a good read and the 99% website is good on the whole so have a peep.
Courtesy of 99%

Pictures from the week.

Victate Clothing

Blogged these babes over on SOFIDONUTS

Cupcakes & T-shirts

2011-02-22T14:51:00.005Z

Hey Chums, me again. Just a quickie to tell you about a few things.

My lovely little work mate and friend since we were about 8...Lindsay made some cute cupcakes the other day and brought one into work for me. Please excuse my tired, worked out face in these pictures, also whoopsie for them being a little bashed up - was in my tote bag all day!

They were so nice, I hope Lindsay makes some more so she can bring them to me - serious.

New drops over on Street Casuals - Currently being The Hundreds Spring T-shirt collection which I am really bloody lovin' I'm such a fella when it comes to t-shirts love them!

I am also currently fighting a cold, sneezing and coughing galore but still I gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this...

January - February News

2011-02-19T16:38:00.010Z

I had a very good January indeed. Meeting with Brighton Fashion Week's editor and director as well as stylist, tv man and a few others went swimmingly - very happy to be a part of such a cute team. First event was the Frexient party where I met an old chum Sam Hiscox, who is our street style photographer. Good OH! To be honest (brutually honest) the party itself wasn't what I was expecting, although seeing Dan dance with alot of hen do esque ladies was a highlight I must say, I suppose it's all just networking no? Was nice to meet the TV girls and bloggers etc.

Since then we've had a very successful competition with Beauty UK Cosmetics which has literally just ended (6pm) sorry, should of written this sooner aye?
Which has gained us over 500 followers which is obviously a massive result so big ups to BUKC and well, me! ;)

In other news got a little cheeky Valentines Day card from Ben Normanton who does some amazing AMAZING artwork and illustration which you can check right here. Also, got a nice 'fuck da police' (lolz) t-shirt from Sam which my parents hate...score! BTW you can get the shirt cheaper here if you want.

I also now work for a street wear company called Street Casuals as Head of their communications (PR and Social Media). I got a little cheeky call from Miss. Sofi Nowell and bam, it's all mine ♥ I'm really grateful for it as I was starting to regret quitting Tescos as the extra money on top of my marketing job was handy, so big cheers goes to Sof. If you're reading this and you'd like to receive our press releases, information, packages or samples then please e-mail press@streetcasuals.com and I'll get back to you ASAP

Marketing job is still good, has it's moments - We hopefully have some really good stuff coming up soon so all in all a good show!

Don't Panic are giving me more little projects too - not sure if I'm allowed to talk about the next one but it should be fun researching and doing work into it.

What else? What else?...OH YEAH! I only bloody bought a macbook didn't I?! Literally the best purchase ever - had to borrow £120 off my rents but it's ALL mine. Gorgeous. How the hell I ever spent about 10 years of my life with a PC I will never know, seriously if you're considering buying a computer a macbook is definatly the one...TRUST me on this.

Well, not much else so I will leave you with my weekly pictures.

This is from a girl call Sarah Cass which I put on Deer Brains earlier today, how super cute is her work? So colourful and vibrant I love it.

Out with the old, in with the new

2011-01-09T15:35:00.004Z

Happy 2011 everyone.
Shall not drone on too much but my year has started super well, I left Tescos in December and I am about to embark on working for Streetcasual and Brighton Fashion Week as well as continuing to do projects for Don't Panic and Stradd and of course my main job working for a marketing company mainly on the quick growing Models Own!
Pretty bloody happy with how working adventures are going at the moment.

So, this year as I worked super hard in 2010 and barely left the house I will be focusing on myself, my body, my soul, my friends, my family, buying things when I need it not just because I want it and becoming (dare I say it) sociable.

For now as Christmas, phone bill (phone calls to Tristan and Ollie), credit card has killed my money situation I am going to make a list of things I need and things I really bloody love:

I love this, I think it's really cute but a little bit sad too. I'm not too sure where I'd put it as it wouldn't really fit in with my bedroom colour scheme however for £12 I may as well get it and save it for when I move into my own flat/house.

I got an iPod given to me by my lovely sister (oh hai babe if you're reading) and well I want some cool earphones to go with the cool ass iPod. So, I am thinking these...I've had my eye on them for a while but never really needed them for anything but well, now I do. I'm not sure whether to get them in silver or gold. What do you think?

I absolutely love candles, always have always will. For a long as I can remember we've always had them burning away in our lounge these ones look gorgeous and are supposed to be rose scented which is one of my favourite smells. Are you a candle fan? Which brand, websites are your favourites?

Some pictures of my week:

I'M NOT GONNA GIVE A ....

2010-12-21T15:05:00.001Z

Now that you're out of my life
I'm so much better
You thought that I'd be weak without you
But I'm stronger
You thought that I'd be broke without you
But I'm richer
You thought that I'd be sad without you
I laugh harder
You thought I wouldn't grow without you
Now I'm wiser
Though that I'd be helpless without you
But I'm smarter
You thought that I'd be stressed without you
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without you
Sold 9 million
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)
Thought I couldn't breathe without
I'm inhaling
You thought I couldn't see without you
Perfect vision
You thought I couldn't last without you
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without you
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without you
But I'm on top
Thought it would be over by now
But it won't stop
Thought that I would self destruct
But I'm still here
Even in my years to come
I'm still gon be here
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)
I'm wishin' you the best
Pray that you are blessed
Bring much success, no stress, and lots of happiness
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gon blast you on the radio
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gon lie on you and your family
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gon hate on you in the magazines
('m better than that)
I'm not gon compromise my Christianity
(I'm better than that)
You know I'm not gon diss you on the internet
Cause my mama taught me better than that
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)
[Beyonce]
Oh (oh) oh (oh)...
After of all of the darkness and sadness
Soon comes happiness
If I surround my self with positive things
I'll gain prosperity
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm not gon give up (What?)
I'm not gon stop (What?)
I'm gon work harder (What?)
I'm a survivor (What?)
I'm gonna make it (What?)
I will survive (What?)
Keep on survivin' (What?)

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/survivor_lyrics_destinys_child.html
All about Destinys Child: http://www.musictory.com/music/Destinys+Child

2010-12-01T14:19:00.005Z

Past two weeks have been really weird, I've been deeply dismissive and negative and I'm not too sure why...might be my current pill I'm going to see how I am next month but it really was just awful...ho hum things are better now and that's the main thing.

Got a phone call from Vanessa about doing the Brighton Fashion Week social media stuff and I've got a meeting with her and the rest of the team next week. Which I'm pretty excited about she said I sound like I'm the answer to her prayers! Super...Another thing to get stuck into, I think that's why I've been upset recently, same old people(i love my friends&family but ya know)...people I can't see regularly because of distance (tristan, ollie, james, sofi, anna) and just the general mundane life...even though I enjoy my job...I guess it's just the same old nonesense and wondering where all the EXCITING things have gone...I'm I making much sense here I'm I?!!!

I've been enjoying sitting back and chilling out letting things happen naturally for once...I either FORCE things or PUSH things away so it's pretty good and a massive learning curve for me to let people, things, animals, babes just all flow nicely...like James said to me I can't let myself or anyone else get upset over NOTHING...very positive stance...

I'm pretty excited about Christmas this year, bought some dope gifts and love sharing and giving to my friends and family. Christmas eve is always amazing as we have so much fun (and booze) around Chloe and Ross's house...the midnight strike is always fun singing and being battered...Ahhh <3

Top Bangin' Beats

2010-11-21T15:39:00.003Z

I spent most of my time at University listening to the most depressing shit, from Oasis - stop crying your heart out to Foo Fighters - Best of me.

As I've got older I just cannot handle a sad song, i'm emo enough as it is without having a song remind me of a past time, friend, fella, babe, mistake...so this blog post is dedicated to the bangin' beats that I listen to when I'm thinking about that past time, fella, mare, friend, mistake...to get me feeling positive again.

tune, i'm sorry but this song is funny and it's one to sway and dance to for a laugh.

amazing.

probably the only man i will ever be in love with except for mr.roar, tristan and my daddy. uh-mazing!

DOPPPPEEEEE I love love love no doubt and this song is a total pick me upper

keeps me chilled, perfect beat.

reminds me of being at uni with tristan proper going for it on his birthday cracking me up a treat, always makes me want to bump my booty butt. lolz

YES amazing

i could go on forever, five, suicide file, garbage, republica, placebo, n-dubz etc etc.

What are your favourite pick me up songs?

NEWS - Halloween, Bonfire night, Jobs, People, Babes, Deer Brains.

2010-11-20T15:04:00.009Z

I haven't updated this in a while...

So, I've now got my glasses which made me feel like a super geek at first but now it's all good. Just a matter of getting used to them isn't it? My head ons have gone and my mind is focused on work rather then the pain at the back of my brain thinking I have some terrible tumour or something.

All three job prospects that came to me through agencies were not successful, the worthing one was pretty keen but I turned it down as I knew it wouldn't be the right kind of area for me...working on accounts social media isn't really my idea of 'fun' 1000 heads are keeping me on records and I get e-mails from them updating me about various things going on within the job etc. always interesting to read. The other one I can't even remember so can't be that good. Since then I've had a call from an agency for a job in Soho...just turned it down as I am in no financial matter to go zooming off to London.

For Halloween I went to go an see my sister we qued to get into a fancy dress shop what the fuck is that about...we bascially just wore normal clothes and stuck some blood on us...went to Urban Nerds and met Sofi from the Sofidonuts Blog that I contribute too. Sof is the most adorable person I think I've ever met...I felt like a giant next to her cute 5' nothing frame but hey, who really gives a fuck about that. Adorbz

For Bonfire night I met Danny and all his new working pals from his new job. As well as hanging out with Ollie from Black Milk London where I just got quite drunk and from what I remember we didn't see one firework?! It was raining though so that might of been why? I think I'm in love with his cat though it's such a biffa he's amazing!!!

I'm pressing on with my blog Deer Brains which has recruited 5 new babes. Quite excited to see where that's all going to lead to. We've had competitions with Vice and Lazy Oaf recently which has been amazing for us.

Brighton Fashion Week is looking for someone to do some work for them so I've contacted them to see if there is a Social Media/ PR role involved for me...Going through chats with that. Doing some PR for Jelly Pong Pong which Ollie found for me x and hoping to start doing some Social Media for Margin London.

I went to see Deftones Wednesday just gone (17th November) and it was UH-MAZING. I've loved the Deftones ever since school so it was a highlight of my year. I went with my friend Brad who equally loves them but unfortunately had work at 7am the next day we were about to leave when we heard the intro into 'Change' (my fav) so obviously we stayed and then went and got the train after that. Don't mean to be a sap but I can't get over how amazing they were!!! I was so excited. The babes surrounding me was great too hahaha.

Off to see Jimmy Eat World and Minus the Bear with Shahnaz and Dan on Tuesday which should be good. We all went to see The Get Up Kids together a few months ago which was amazing. It's good to have gig buds.

I've been speaking to Tristan alot lately which has been amazing. Although I haven't seen that boy in about 3 years now he will ALWAYS remain my best friend and my favourite person ever. He's super amazing and always kicks me up the ass when I'm being an idiot about myself and about my life. I really love him so much it's ridic. xxxxxx
Think that's it. Will try and update this more regularly but I'm pretty friggin' busy bruv. x

jobs, glasses, party.

2010-09-09T11:54:00.002+01:00

This week has been pretty good.
Hanged out and got drunk with some chums on Monday.

Felt pretty dead on Tuesday but got a call back from the Worthing agency. I, again explained my situation and it resulted in us leaving it till I know whether or not my contract is going to be renewed with SCS Marketing at the end of September. He also offered me to partly work from home and partly from the office as I do not live in Worthing...Sounds quite good....And I can finally get out of Tescos's saying that the past two weeks have been quite fun working there. Everoyne is so cute and sweet it's nice...And I guess now I just know 100% that it won't be forever!

I have heard back from the agency that talked to me about working for 1000 heads. He had been on holiday so that is why he didn't get back to me sooner. Unfortunately there are no positions within the company at the moment but they like what they see and have kept me on top records in case a new project crops up in the future.

I'm quite happy with that to be honest, hopefully (mega fingers crossed) I will stay on where I am now and continue to work for make up companies and I believe we are getting a new fashion client! Exciting. I'm also planning on doing a couple of freelance jobs for a fashion line and of course continue with DEERBRAINS so if/when they call again I can show them more of my mad skillz.

Boots told me my glasses would be delivered today...Still not here? I fucking need them now, squinting hard.

Job prospect #3

2010-08-31T19:52:00.003+01:00

Because of the passing of bank holiday I was hoping for a call or an email about the 1000 heads job...I always have my phone on silent as it's a blackberry I can see it flashing red when I get an e-mail or text anyways I put it onto 'normal' and at 9:13am I got a call from another agency for some fashion social media. He said he would forward on some details but hasn't done so yet.

Went to London on Friday night, was so awesome. Just want to be there permanently now.
In other news, got my glasses yesterday not badly priced got 2 pairs for 160 pounds! Also, I watched Kick Ass which I quite enjoyed except for 'Hit Girl' saying 'c***t' filth!

Job prospect #2

2010-08-26T11:58:00.004+01:00

So, just got a phone call from a guy from Fuel Recruitment Limited saying he had spotted my CV and my work on Jobsite.com and might have a suitable role for me in Central London.

After having a chat about where I wanted to go (get out of eastbourne/fashion/pr/social media) and what my current work status was he talked about what the job would involve and it's everything I'm doing now plus events like music festivals and gigs for a phone company through the world of 1000 Heads.

He e-mailed me over some details and asked if I was interested to say so and he will pass on my details to the director of the company.

I'm overly excited and overly scared but in a space of a week my life has catapulted me into 'real life' commitments and I cannot wait to start carrying them out.

I honestly can't wait to get the e-mail from the director of 1000 heads and just press on with this. If I'm still in Eastbourne by this time next year I might cry/kill myself.

Anyways time to get some food and go to Tescos...I had a really nice night working there last night, odd.

Life Oh Life

2010-08-25T22:07:00.005+01:00

Woke up at 6am to apply for a job in London - Actual dream job it was like it was written for me, experience with fashion and beauty, keen on social media not just for work but for personal use, good sense of eye for design and fashion websites.

I am actually really hoping I get this, I've always ummmed and ahhhed over jobs in London as I don't really have that much cash to commute/stay up there but with this one I just feel that I would make alot more 'effort' to go and one of my best friends landed a dream job yesterday and is going to London for September/October time so I'm sure he wouldn't mind little old me sleeping on the couch for a month? Who knows. I'm not going to think about it untill the e-mail comes IF it comes.

Anyways, did that all through jobsite at 6am (too keen?) and went back to sleep got an e-mail and phonecall from a John Chase recruitment agency saying he has a job that was right up my alley. After a few e-mails establishing that I am particularly interested in Fashion and Beauty PR and stating that my job will hopefully (please lord please) be renewed in September we kind of left it as a 'I will call you on Tuesday next week...It's in Worthing, It's full time...It's an option if I do get dropped from my current job.

Friday night in Brighton has now turned into Friday night in London thanks to We are Social for hooking me up with tickets to a random gig at a bowling alley place ??? Details are too be confirmed but defiantly has to be better than a night out in Eastbourne right?

Another thing (well maybe the only thing) that is really testing my patience at the moment is my face. I know most people who will be reading this will be online 'friends' (lolz) but my skin has been a babe recently after taking tetracycline and a course of the pill but right now today at this moment I have five utter beasts on my face and I've come to realise how mega shit it is. I don't like people being too close to my face, I don't like looking at people when I'm talking, I'm constantly thinking 'they can see this beast' and it's starting to get me down again...I'm 23 like HELLO I should be getting the 'odd spot' which I was for a while now after taking these pills and actually eating a bit better...or to be honest actually eating meals and not just crisps and bananas...anyways, I haven't been stressed out as such but I have been 'worrying' about alot recently and that's probably brought it on.

I think that's about it...toodles. x

Oh actually look how cute my pooch is <3

day to day

2010-08-24T21:15:00.004+01:00

drunk in london

drunk in london

work outfit (the heart kept me smiling)

I'm going to utilise this blog more. To become everything I said to Nicki on Monday.

Today I was meant to head to London for a meeting with an events promotion company. I'm quite thankful they cancelled as I had the chance to tidy and sort my room out (see post below) as I'm constantly working/active my room got to a shocking state. Ooop. Something that I didn't elaborate on in my last post is this e-mail from my now chum Dan...Back when we were teens we really liked each other and this e-mail was the cutest but funniest thing ever...Isn't it weird how feelings change?

I met up with him with Shahnaz to see The Get Up Kids a couple of months ago and it was amazing! Love both of them dearly....We've made plans to go to Jimmy Eat World in November which should be super fun!

Off to Brighton with a super old friend/work collegue on Friday to go and see We are Scientists...To be honest I'm only going as the lead singer is a babe.com

Do you remember when days were like that?

2010-08-24T18:49:00.006+01:00

After one of my meetings got cancelled in London I decided to do the most mundane thing ever and tidy my room...not just general 'shove this here' 'pop this over here' tidying oh no no no! A proper full motion spring or should I say summer clearout.

I found some LOL things along the way. A picture of a drawing I did in SHAPE lesson, a mufti day class picture and the wonders of my diary cira 2000.

This is probably the funniest find of the day. Myself and my best friend Katie draw our 'dream boys' when we were 14 I was a'grunger' Katie was a 'townie' and ours were both very different. Pretty much in love with how cool I was by how much I wanted Julian Cascablancas ♥ what a cool bean. Although I wasn't a massive cool bean as I said 'Spunky punky' But for the general shit it's just proper 'lol' on my behalf and I can't wait to show Katie when I see her next.

Where do we go from here?

2010-08-17T18:11:00.002+01:00

I feel the need to turn to my online rambling blogsphere to help me decide what to do.
My life the past nine months has been incrediable, I've not only gained my dream job (sort of) I've grown and continued to love and be more confident as a person.

I face the dilema now (maybe) of starting another chapter of my life which weirdly for me seems to always happen in September (splitting up with james, starting a new job, meeting new life long friends etc) my contract with the marketing company I work for ends in then...I'm praying to the God that I will be kept on and I can continue to grow and learn as well as save for greater adventures but if I get released from the job do I take these Interns I've been offered/looking at?

I'm going crazy mind at the moment as I literally do not have the time to go anywhere or do anything fun.

At least I'm saving I suppose?

WISH LIST

2010-06-12T20:53:00.003+01:00

Is it really sad to be really excited about some shoes?
I spotted this website from here and blogged about it on Deer Brains.

I cannot believe how cheap and good looking these shoes are. Totally buying a load when I get paid. I've been looking for some loafers and brogues for a while and these are perfect.

Also bought my attention to cute little play suits and amazing things I can team up with them.

EXCITED

MAC - Lady GaGa

2010-05-18T19:31:00.003+01:00

I'm a massive fan of MAC it's the best make-up I've ever used and I love this video of Lady GaGa that she has done for them.

I ♥ Utah Boys

2010-05-12T22:04:00.005+01:00

I want to go because I served the cutest guy ever from there, he was so awkward and geeky but hot and adorable. Checked his I.D because he was buying lots of beer, didn't pick up his name but saw he was from Utah.

So, in my quest to find a babe (or just hunt down this hot geek) I want to go to Utah!!

So where is Utah...I knew it was in America and far away from New York...

You see where it says Salt Lake City....That's where I wanna be!

From what I can gather National Parks are pretty much the only thing going on in Utah...Good thing I like scenery right? Me and the babe can walk around for days and days.

If only huh?!!!

I shall have to let my love with the hot geek I saw before me rest.

Money blown on dem hoes

2010-05-08T12:18:00.006+01:00

I've pretty much spent all of my money, lucky for me I should have some freelance payments coming my way in the next few days if not then I just have under £80 for just under 3 weeks...HI MUM AND DAD CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY PLEASE?! I hate doing that but I'm a good daughter and well, I need to travel to and from work...!

I'm casually just sitting here at the moment feeling pretty bloody good, working from home for the make-up brand I'm involved with and testing out my new camera which I got from play.com for half price, hola.

Pretty much love this Brow kit from Benefit, I've recently become pretty obsessed with my eyebrows as I do believe that if you shape and look after them well it frames your whole face perfectly well as perfect as it can be with my rather off beat features.

This comes with:

♥ Brow zings powder (light) 1.10g
♥ Brow zings powder (dark) 1.10g
♥ Brow zings wax 0.90g
♥ Smokin' liner 0.39g
♥ Eye bright 0.90g
♥ Brow highlighter powder 1.10g
♥ Mini tweezers
♥ Hard angle/talent brush
♥ Step-by-step lesson

I really like the Eye bright, I'm terrible I'm awake all night and up at 6/7am most days that I always look really tired and not with it...This really helps to brighten my eyes and look more alert. Once this 'sample' has finished I will defiantly be buying the larger product.

I look like I'm about to be sick.

If you know me well or just briefly know me from catching my tweets you will know I have a little pup pup called Rory who I completely love, he's so much fun and he always keeps me warm and content when I'm lonely (which working from home alot happens!) x

Healthy Life

2010-05-05T13:10:00.004+01:00

Having a week off has been lovely but I've still got so much work to do.
As much as I love the internet it's been good getting off it I must say!

Now, I am not claiming that I am fat in the slightest but I could do with living a healthier lifestyle and toning up, there are moments when I feel like I can feel the actual fat coating my heart...not good right?

So, Yesterday I went shopping and bought some healthy treats; actimel, bananas, rocket, watercress and spinach sald, yougurts, chicken, fish.

Which so far is grating on my stomach but I think it's just because of going from eating crips, chicken and bananas or not eating at all to eating actual good stuff for me.

My sister and I have started going for jogs around the park, which has got me pumped to come home to do our Davina DVD!

However, saying all that here I am eating digestive biscuits and drinking chamoille tea whilst working on this and this.

What are your favourite ways to stay healthy?

I'm in love with designer Holly Russell

2010-04-27T14:03:00.005+01:00

After watching Marina and the Diamonds on Loose Women this morning I've just discovered the most amazing top I've ever seen in my life and I want!

Designed by Fashion Graduate Holly Russell.
Holly Russell is a BA (hons) Fashion Design graduate from Manchester Metropolitan University.
Animal, minerals and outer space inspired Holly to use a ‘galaxy’ digital print, beetle wings and human hair in her collection, mimicking textures and patterns seen in the Universe.
Holly embroidered over one thousand Jewel Beetle-wings onto the arms of garments to represent the power and size of the natural world. Working with American astronomer, Robert Gendler she sourced galaxy images that were then adapted into digital prints. The features an eclectic range of fabrics from different types of Silk, Stretch Satins, Pig Suede Leather, and a flesh coloured sequin Chiffon that gives a ‘shiny second skin’ effect to the body. A key piece in the collection is a digitally printed cape with black synthetic wigs sewn onto the shoulders, which then overlap a digital print of illustrated hair to create a 3D effect. This garment was modelled by Alice Dellal and photographed by Mary McCartney as part of the advertising campaign for Graduate Fashion Week and appeared in the Evening Standard.
Holly’s merits include being shortlisted for the ‘MaxMara/British Fashion Council Award’ in 2008 and in 2009 was shortlisted for the ‘River Island Jumpsuit Competition’ and ‘Best of Manchester Award’. Her work experience includes an internship with 2007 Fashion Fringe winner Aminaka Wilmont.
In October 2009 Nicola Formichetti flew Holly’s collection out to LA and as a result Lady Gaga wore one of her garments to the Billboard Women in Music Awards. Holly has also created a garment for Lady Gaga’s World Tour.
Holly is currently working with Gareth Pugh and plans to carry out an MA in Fashion Womenswear at the RCA next year.

The sleeves are made from Beetles!
I just absolutely love it but I can't see where you can buy them anywhere.

Holly has also had her designs worn by Lady GaGa.

So give me coffee and tv

2010-04-27T00:27:00.001+01:00

One of my favourite songs ever ♥

I'm gonna close my eyes and maybe it will go away...

2010-04-25T17:32:00.004+01:00

The past two weeks have been pretty weird and stressful if I'm going to be honest.
I always find myself hoping to be better and hoping to get stronger, I am fine but I'm getting drained of longing for what I truly want and knowing that it will probably never happen is quite tough, I'm the sort of person who tries her upmost hardest but whatever I seem to do it always comes tumbling down a few months later...I guess that is what we call the wonderful world of life, huh?

I've worked my ass off the past eight months and I am in serious need of some fun.

I'm quite looking forward to going to see my old flat mate at the end of May, Going to see The Get Up Kids with Dan and Shahnaz and going to Wireless Festival with my sister.

But if I don't do something soon I am going to crack.

I guess watching films like Elephant, Girl Interrupted, The Royal Tenenbaums and Ghost World doesn't help but what brilliant films all the same.

To prevent me from going on a downhill spiral I am going to surround myself with a massive internet shop when I get paid this Friday.

♥ However I did buy this:

For £15...
The other day which is a strong replica of:

Which is £ 126,72

Crazy huh?

Want Want Want - ASOS.

2010-04-22T19:15:00.003+01:00

ASOS is a massive chain company, that I've lost a little bit of respect for when I saw that they were ripping off independent designer Lady Luck Rules Ok! However, I find their dresses are really work friendly and comfortable.

Here is my wishlist from their current products:

Gap Rope Belted Chambray Linen Mix Dress, £45.

ASOS Jersey Vest Empire Dress, £20.

Motel Graphic Print 2-In-1 Dress, £35.

Time goes by so slowly.

2010-04-22T14:32:00.002+01:00

I spend most of my time planning and dreaming about buying clothes and going away.

I am desperate to go to Barcelona I've wanted to go since about 2005 when my friend Joe was going with his band 'Nervous Wreck' and said it was amazing for the hardcore and art scene. Even though I'm still a fan of hardcore music I don't think I can handle the shows anymore most of them were brutal but were mostly sXe ones so everyone helped everyone out and it was all 'love' based but when I went to see Outbreak it was fucking mentallllll...Anyways, I want to go to Barcelona to see the arts....Oh man it would be so dope. I was planning on going last September but my friend Sam completely bailed out :( So if ANYONE wants to go...Let me know?

Disney

2010-04-19T22:31:00.004+01:00

I am 100% in love with Disney films.
I have loved Alice In Wonderland, Bambi and Beauty and the Beast since a young age.

Here are some of my favourite clips.

My skincare products.

2010-04-18T23:04:00.005+01:00

If you know me well, you know that my skin isn't the best thing since sliced bread. I've battled with pigmintation, scarring and spots since my young teens. At 23 I swear by these products I still get the odd spot here but by lord it's so much better and brighter then it used to be thanks to all these amazing products.

Cleanse & Polish Hot Cloth Cleanser. £23.00

Skin Repair. £33.00

Garnier Eye Make-up Remover. £3.45

Benefit Eye Brightening Cream. £20.50

What beauty products do you use?

Tegan and Sara

2010-04-14T23:13:00.002+01:00

I always have little flurries of amazing artists that I love.
For that past month I've been constantly listening to Tegan and Sara.

Particularly these songs.

Too amazing.

Before I start I just want you to know I don't love you anymore.

2010-04-14T22:45:00.003+01:00

I wanted to use this blog as a sort of journal. I've been blogging since I was 13, over at Livejournal and I would write some really deep and personal shit on there it was intense. I want to use this for simliar reason not to get really deep and meaning full because to be honest I'm over that 'Poor little me' stage in my life but to say to people out there HEY IT'S OKAY and to make me realise that whoever and whatever you're we are all pretty much the same anyways.

Forgive me if I'm rambling as I'm way too overtired to even be thinking about what this is actually about but I wanted to put something in that I wrote for a zine but never actually got round to finishing or giving to them as some family problems occurred. It was something that spun off into loads of different directions and it made me just think what the fuck I'm I even talking about?!

So, Your off on a girly night out, a meal with your boyfriend, possibly even a date? And that whole important question of 'Does my bum look big in this?' crops into your mind at least three times whilst you're getting ready... I myself know that it's a very stressful and complicated process trying to get ready for a special occasion I even stress out when I know my boyfriend is coming home from work, to make sure I look pristine before he gets in...Why? because the media and society has made us that way.

To be honest the latter half of what I just said up there is a lie, but I believe that in fashion and health and beauty magazines they portray this sort of 'stepford 1950s clean cut wife' image that EVERY lady should follow. I for one know that men don't like girls being constantly made up and in heels, but society has led us to believe that we should be constantly looking our best for men, this outrages me somewhat, I am no feminist but when a male 'expects' us to be something we aren't it's frustrating.

I have a friend who is constantly looking trim, primed and done up, she is beautiful with or without makeup and is a genuine lovely lady but as she watches all the L.A 'real life' programmes like 'The Hills' 'The City' etc. And reads countless fashion and beauty magazines to comply this look, where over if not all of the models and girls featured in the magazines have been airbrushed, sucked and tucked and possibly even led a life of dieting and constantly under pressure in order to look 'good' it throws her and so many girls into the bizaree realm of who and what we should comply too.

I myself have moments when flicking through a magazine and suddenly having this self doubt that I am not pretty, trim, perfect enough to invest in a good boyfriend or to be accepted in society, then I have the flickering recognition that these girls HAVE been air brushed and I would love to see the pictures of them before hand, these girls are just too flawless to be real, I bet even models like Lily Cole or superstars like Cheryl Cole have bags under their eyes, celluite and so forth, but when captured without makeup or with a bit of celluite (which lets face it all girls have right?) they are automactically deemed into devils work by the media.

It's frustrating to know that young girls out there are being captivated by the media and pressures of staying slim and looking good. I read an article in a magazine which shall remain unnamed about 'tricks to eat less and stay thin' REALLY? I said to my self. It was bascially discussing on how to eat practically nothing but convince your loved ones that you have had a full breakfast, lunch and evening meal "talk alot whilst eating, play with your food, rearrange it on your plate" I'm sorry but if I saw someone start doing all of this I would only think there was a problem. Food time for me is quite time!

I never got round to finishing it and reading back through it I sound really bitter and angry that I am not size 0 and that I am not absolutely beautiful...This isn't what I am saying at all...I am driving at the fact that yes, look after yourself; eat healthy, wash, shave, look good but don't feel like you have to be like that 24/7 as people will just start factoring you out as a 'yeah, she's pretty hot but she's blatantly stupid' I for one have looked at girls and thought 'oh wow shes hot bet there isn't much upstairs though' and found out that she was doing law at cambridge...So you know...I'm just as bad...?!

Where have you been? What have you done? I still love you...

2010-04-13T09:53:00.004+01:00

Today, after waking up with the sun blasting into my room and my Mother proding me to get up because the builders need to go to my room I decided to return back to my personal blog which is this! Hooooraaaah.

I already have quite a peachy following over at DEER BRAINS which I work on with three chums (Thomas, Sean and Sofi!) but for things that I feel just aren't right for there I shall stick here.

So, Today I bring you my latest wish list items and a re-cap of who I am.

Stephanie Marie Barnes, 23 years old, living in the South of England, working for a make-up company, Fashion Photographer and various other Social Networking campaigns as well as Tescos...Which is dreadful but for 9 hours a week and £7.50 PH I really just can't complain.

I'm stern, I'm honest, I'm driven and I'm capable of anythings which I believe if people really try then you can be too!

Most of the time I just dream of being Dizzee Rascal's girlfriend or maybe Max Barreau's (the choice is hard) and sing along to pop songs.

I found this on my Listography...

Things that shouldn't be done when drunk.

phone calls.
go online. msn/myspace/email.
declare my love for someone i don't even know. and them get wierd about it.
text messages. especially five page ones.
sharing of secrets.
making out with a friend.
buying even more alcohol.
buying even more cigarettes.
attempting to have a decent deep meaningful conversation with someone you work with/see often but rarely speak to.
being around anyone sober.
dancing like an idiot. well, you think you look great at the time.

Guilty!

Wish List

Even though I have jobs coming out of my butthole I am still mega poor and I love saving for some dope items.

All from Zara Home.

the moon on the hill says that we probably will

2010-02-06T12:36:00.003Z

Without fail this song will make me cry.

FUCKING love it

I'm on a downward spiral and I'm finding it very hard to pick myself back up at the moment. I feel like a massive part of me is missing and I'm trying to hard to 'brush it off' but it's too hard when you love someone too much.

But you know what fuck it. I can't do anymore or do any less.

My gorgeous little pal Rob sent me this today with the cutest note ever.
You can go and buy it here

Are you happy? I'll decide.

2010-01-10T00:21:00.002Z

What a fabulous start to 2010. Started a collaboration blog with three of my buddies.

Tom I met from University, talented photography and all round good guy.
Sean known him from school, run high order! remember me talking about that? he's fashion and photography mad and amazing.
and my dear internet pal Spasjia, runs with fashion, love and poems as well as a bloody brilliant artist.

I'm pretty stoked about having them in my team.
So please everyone (if anyone) come and check us out!

http://www.deerbrains.blogspot.com

On a much better note I've finally found the perfect coat/jacket/hoodie but I am far too poor to buy it.

So this is Christmas...

2009-12-25T20:18:00.002Z

Merry Christmas

Such a sense of error and fabolousness this year, in terms of I've been feeling VERY unfestive yet, I've bought people some of the best presents I've ever bought people, I'm proud. Guess with three jobs I've just a bit more money this year.

Sales have started and even though I shouldn't I want all of these...

Free People Poison Apple Sateen Dress
Was £55.00
Now £24.99

Seamless Lurex Ruched Tube Top
Was £35.00
Now £14.99

Kimchi & Blue Braided Cowl Neck Jumper
Was £40.00
Now £20.00

I remember when I used to feel something, now I'm just cold inside.

2009-12-02T22:49:00.004Z

The title is how I feel and how I am right now, I get up, work, go to sleep, get up, work, go to sleep and you know what I love it. I couldn't be happier, I am a bitch for saying this but right now nothing else matters except for me and maybe three four people in my life...I've spent two years doing everything that everyone else wanted me to do, now it's my time. I might of got a bit self-righteous and this might come back to bite me on the ass but NOW it's about ME.
Saying that if YOU need ME call me I am always here...<3

As everyone knows who knows me well I am constantly on-line, I infact never turn my computer off...I did a couple of days ago for the first time in I don't know how long, six months?
I've found so many amazing things on here and I never jott them down to remember myself to buy them or to think straight or to get inspired! so here it goes...

First to dissect is URBAN OUTFITTERS

Home

Clothing

I've become obsessed with http://tumblr.com/ at the moment, the imagery on there is so inspiring and amazing I'd rather stay inside finding things and posting them then going outside and getting cold and white.

Perfect winter solution.

Come and follow me here: /vaticancities.tumblr.com/

My baby (my laptop) is unrevealing it's clothes and is spewing out its guts (wires) so it needs a new case. Will be sending it off shortly as the insurance runs out on the 14th which I am paying 150 for which will take it up till 2011 which I didn't think was too bad.

Anyways...far too tired will post more on what I want from UO tomorrow :)

Back once again (for the renegade master)

2009-11-21T23:20:00.002Z

Don't know what happened to me, I found countless blogs and forums to read and have deeply been neglecting this little champ.

Progress in my life has been fantastic, I'm a new hot babe some might say.
In terms of personal design (or lack of) I have put together a little baba of my own that I hope to release early next year once I've gathered all the information and people I need for it. I'm 100% on it and I hope the people I want involved in it (only the best!) will be on it too.

For now I have just been inspired by many people/things/websites/love.

Oh hai! I fucking love you.

Oh it's me!
I've grown, I've loved, I've learnt, I've longed, I've cried, I've given, I've taken, I've thanked.

Whenever I want to just 'fuck the world' I listen to this album, it's raw, it's fun, it's thought provoking, it's slightly border lining on metalism (is that even a word?) but above all else when I'm in this mood I'd rather just sit and listen to this then 'smash things up' and cry.

I hope and pray that I'm this cool when I'm older, having fun with my bud and just loving my life.

What is all this...

2009-09-28T19:33:00.002+01:00

For the first time in months I have come back to self doubting myself and giving up (well not quite yet) on everything that I ever hold close to me, family, friends, lovers, design...

After starting this Internship it's made me learn alot about myself that 1) I maybe not get on with others as I think...and 2) I always say the wrong thing.
After working by myself for years maybe I'm just finding it hard to try and break out of my comfort zone box and adapt to designs and writing the way I NEED to rather then the way I WANT to, it is only day four, hopefully I will grow and learn and love my time I have left there. Still praying to God that they keep me on and give me a full time placement as the thought of going back to nights and working weekends constantly after having time at somewhere I love doing will shatter everything...But, it is an amazing experience and it is just what I need to learn more things and take it as whatever happens happens.

It has made me become OBSESSED with fashion, not that I wasn't already but even more so now it's ridiculous, every blog, website, livejournal, facebook site I've been on I've just been memorized by fashion photography and the art form of it all, so much that I wish I was 18 again and just starting out deciding what I want to do!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thegirlwhotamedthetiger/

If I wasn't so tired I'd post more, but LOVE!

You could be my lucky star, shine on me wherever you're...

2009-09-15T21:57:00.003+01:00

I think I have come to the decision to do a bit of travelling maybe late next year? I'm almost certain I want to at least get to one of my three top locations next year them being Japan, Sweden and Barcelona.

As of yet I don't know what's going to happen in my life, so many exciting things have happened already that I feel really truly blessed to have such good connections within the business that I am passionate about and enjoy doing.

Hopefully with this work experience it will lead to a proper full time paid job, if it doesn't then at least I've had the opportunity to add a fantastic company to my work experience and hopefully it will give me alot more confidence and added skills within my work.

I feel very blessed right now.

Favourite songs at the moment.

Not the original video but I think it's alot better and more interesting then the foetus even though the foetus is very clever.

Favourite websites at the moment:

♥
/welcometothefold.wordpress.com/
Used to go to University with Martin and he has teamed up with a few other lads to bring this blog, covers art, fashion, photography and opinions me likey.

♥
/mashable.com
Geek out.
Hours of entertainment and learning facilities.
B R I L L I A N T

♥
/weloveyouso.com
'In October 2009 Spike Jonze’s feature film rendition of Maurice Sendak’s classic story Where The Wild Things Are will hit movie theaters worldwide.

The film represents years of work from hundreds of different artists, writers, photographers, musicians, actors, and creators of all degrees.

This place has been established to help shed some light on many of the small influences that have converged to make this massive project a reality.'
I love it, I've been on this for hours today checking out all the other random websites of art and photography on there, really inspiring!

2009-09-13T13:51:00.000+01:00

I've never seen Twilight I might surface into the cool world and watch it.
It's supposed to be amazing but people said that about 'Sweeney Todd' and as much as I did enjoy that it was too overated and it was obvious hot it was going to end.

My Puppy is next to me lying on his back with his little face sleeping gently, oh to sleep all day would be faboulous.

Interview tomorrow for scsmarketing.co.uk nervous but excited :) wish me luck!

I was supposed to...

2009-09-09T16:01:00.004+01:00

dedicate my day to cleaning, packing, prepping, sourcing and filing but instead I have spent most of it in bed feeling dreadful and going on various, art and designs sites feeling inspired and possibly quite jealous of work and wonders that I've seen.

I went to sign up to the doctor yesterday (haven't been registered with one since I left Southampton!) and they want a utility bill and a passport photo, why? why? why? All I want is some pills to make me feel better and clear up my skin for fuck sake.

The receptionist was really rude too, I walked in and she just gave me evils and then laughed at me when I said I was returning back from University and needed a doctor? What's your problem?? Just 'cause you sit on your ass all day, taking calls from sick people and whining about your family doesn't mean you can't smile and be nice to some babe that walks into the surgery. I really just don't get rude people, people who look at another like shit and are just generally assholes. When I go for my appointments I might be just as rude back, unfortunately this is just not possible for me as I am way too polite and nice for my own good!

Anyways...Some images, links and people that have made me :), lol and :| today.

Me and my buddies having fun.

I think this is genius, so simple, so strong, so good.
Buy it here.

Mental, sadly the comments underneath this post state that the position was filled in May and that this is 'old news'

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Amazinnnnnnnnnnnnnng, 215 £££!

R.I.P

I feel like such an idiot, in my previous post I posted some photographs from an amazing guy that I learnt about in college, Dash Snow only to recently look on his wikipedia to scan some more information about him, whereabouts, new material etc to find that he died on July 13th of this year due to a suspected drug overdose. Such a waste of an amazing and inspiring talented artist.

Baby, That's just me...

2009-09-07T22:05:00.004+01:00

Not much to say except I have finally, almost, nearly, finished creating, designing, making, colour coding, filing and deciding my website! /birdsflew.co.uk have a look and let me know what you think. thank you.

job interview on friday for a marketing company doing some web based work for them.

still poor as fuck, pay day and it gets rinsed, the bank stole 50?!?! owed parents, sisters, lovers. fuck.

went to london yesterday to see one of my best friend do the 5k run for the alhzeimers charity, shame we missed her from the starting line to the finishing line as me and her boyfriend were too busy trying to search for cigarettes, see her at the end though and congratulated her, she did it in 38 minutes which is amazing i'm so proud of her. i even shredded a little tear when we were waiting to try and catch her run by us. i saw a t-shirt that had 'in loving memory of liam' was something to do with a baby charity, so sad! so rewarding! and so loving! if i was fit enough i'd do it myself for the 'mind' charity.

/www.tinyvices.com/dash_snow
amazing, reminds me of Terry Richardson's work but more raw and compelling.

1. keep your eyes open! even if you’re in a relationship, be aware of who’s around you and what your options are. don’t live your life asleep at the wheel. I’m NOT saying you should cheat. not at all. just pay attention to the people who are attracted to you and friendships or relationships you could have. you are never trapped and it’s important to know you have options and are desirable.

2. how about you answer your FUCKING phone? I KNOW you can see your phone. i KNOW you know it’s me. I mean, you’re constantly checking it when we’re TOGETHER. i guess you just don’t wanna talk to me. and that’s FINE. as long as YOU’RE fine with the fact that YOU’RE DEAD TO ME. unless you’re busy working, then i totally get it and it’s fine. just call me back. xo

3. it’s ‘Asian’ when referring to people and ‘oriental’ when referring to objects you racist jerk!

4. don’t talk back to your boyfriend in public. It just looks ugly. it’s also an instant hard off and clitoral downer. Unless the dude is dangerous or threatening your life, keep it together, remain composed, PLUS you can always walk away. I love you.

5. one on one hangouts are much scarier than three people hanging out. i wish this wasn’t true, but it is.

6. go shopping alone. the chitty chatty banter causes you to use the clothing, or whatever merchandise you’re shopping for, to serve as a defense or distraction- and impulse buys are much more likely to occur. it’s YOUR wallet, but I’m warning you.

7. when real shit is happening, it’s time to drop the snarky front/facade and be a good person. call your friend back. forget the fight, or the petty differences the two of you have. in a perfect world, people would ALWAYS act the way they do after riots or an earthquake. they push the bullshit aside. if a friends/enemies/or acquaintances mom or dad dies, call them/visit them- even if you have NO IDEA what to say. bring flowers and martinelli’s apple cider. if you don’t like a person cuz you thinks they’re a nerd or a dork and it would hurt your cool to be seen with them, or they just get on your nerves- that’s FINE during the superficial rigmarole of the day to day…but if this said ‘dork’ was hurting (emotionally or physically) and needed someone to talk to, would you be able to drop the shit and be there? even though it’s not your ’job’?

8. going to target will ALWAYS make you happy.

9. there’s a difference between a vaginal ‘yeast’ infection and a ‘bacterial’ infection. know your body. don’t make assumptions. and for the love of god, see a gynecologist!

10. the next time a homeless person asks you for change (especially if he/she is wearing a better outfit than you) you could either give them some money OR do what I do and shout: “what do you expect me to do, give you my debit card? i don’t have any change! get a job you cardboard holding creep.” just giving you options. xo
Absolutely obsessed with her at the moment, I check her blog every day I think she's funny, intelligent, cute and bad ass which in my books= perfect!
/imboycrazy.com/

I Love You Baby

2009-08-25T23:24:00.003+01:00

Through the bad dreams and sleepless nights bring the hopes and good dreams that anything is truly possible, you have to work at it to gain it but I know my time is here/coming/alive and I cannot wait to pursue/continue/achieve it, I will know I've fulfilled my life when my baby son is born.

Until that day, I shall continue to poison peoples minds (and bank balances) with clothes, art house and design.

Clothing I want/need/purchasing.

I love Johnny Depp, I don't know a single person that doesn't even my Grandmother loves him and this film, well it's just amazing really isn't it?

Images I love/need/want

2/5 of my favourite animals. The look on that little bambi fawn deer face is so adorable.

EVERYTHING about this picture just makes me :) it's beautiful.

Websites I like

/sailorette.wordpress.com>
I met Lou Lou when I was 17, drunk & socially awkward.
Since then this lady has continued to inspire me & I adore everything she writes about, a really worthy read, also a very talented knicker designer /louloulovesyou.co.uk

Hello, Is it me you're looking for?

2009-08-19T23:45:00.005+01:00

I think I have finally, or at least 80% sure that I am heading in the right direction and doing, seeing and believing in everything I love.

Evening, Is it wrong that I find this quite very intensely attractive. Whatta a man!

OH EM GEE.
I've come to the conclusion that I think I fancy anything that has a pulse, like one of those men...ALL men who fancy anything with ass and tits. I'm I becoming a repulsive pervy early 20's grandma? Where I live is the dullest place ever for fun and for frocliking, suggest some new locations please? Where I can dance & drink till I puke and not find 19 year old guys?! Thanks!

After getting myself involved in THIS
I decided to be really cool and try and adapt my own version of it...

Shit really, I know!

Check these out:

I am currently writing an article on how women are perceive through society and the media and I sound like a right feminist, male hating bitch...

It's for THIS.

YES! To this song and this video. <3333

Everybody get dangerous, BOO YA!

2009-07-26T14:26:00.003+01:00

Hello, I love you.

Hello, I want you.

Hello, Be mine.

Life is too good right now.
Would be alot better if I had Rivers in my life though.

2009-06-30T20:47:00.002+01:00

R.I.P Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T23:59:00.004+01:00

Shocked the nation and gripped the world, I am truly lost for words.
It amazes me how the internet stopped working last night, how the top ten downloads/album sells/products/searches are in relation to Michael.

I always thought he was just so captivating and mysterious and I loved that about him. Must say I haven't cried or felt deeply sadden by it. He is no Gwen Stefani to me, but seeing my Mum and my best friend hurt by it is devastating...TRULY have lost a legend that NO ONE can ever replace.

hello bristol, good bye eastbourne

2009-05-20T19:42:00.002+01:00

The time has finally come to sort my life out and get a move on it.
A couple of things are spurred me on to deeply considering my big move to the big bad city of Bristol!

1) I am completely and utterly fed up with Eastbourne, most of the people, clubs, working, my lifestyle.

2) My love and passion for design and my realisation that I can't stay in Eastbourne to do anything about it.

Something I love:

£38.99

£35

£8.80

£4.99 BARGAIN

And some recent work:

'Cause no matter what I DO love you.

2009-05-02T00:24:00.001+01:00

I hope things perk up soon.
Life is a bit sucky atm.

It just got a whole of a lot worse.

It's so long ago, I can't remember now where we begin...

2009-04-30T01:02:00.002+01:00

I cannot believe it's nearly May already, May, HELLO! I remember Christmas Day so well, thinking about my 2009 whilst munching down my turkey dinner. It's INSANE to think that half the year is nearly over.

Was looking through old school pictures and 2007 seemed to be the year for procrastination and picture taking or documenting my every move. Strange, wish I had a digital camera now, I would take pictures of my most amazing moments so I can remember them forever, but to be fair nothing that exciting happens to me anymore.

I hope things perk up soon.
Life is a bit sucky atm.

Less words more images and a little rant.

2009-04-19T20:40:00.003+01:00

So, I've just watched Deborah 13: Servant of God

Deborah Drapper is not like any other British teen. She's 13 years old but she's never heard of Britney Spears or Victoria Beckham.

She has grown up in a deeply Christian family and her parents have tried to make sure her and her ten brothers and sisters have grown up protected from the sins of the outside world.

Deborah is a bright, confident girl who has big ambitions for her life. The film spends a summer with her as she ventures out in to the wider world to see what life is like outside her family. Deborah meets new people giving her the chance to put her beliefs forward to a wider audience.

Deborah 13: Servant of God is an intimate and honest portrayal of a deeply religious and charismatic teenage girl. It raises questions about whether it is better to bring children up away from the glare of celebrity culture and reality TV, to have an altogether different kind of childhood; one where traditional family values and a religious education and upbringing form the foundation stones of family life.

If you know me personally and well then you will know that I am very unsure and unaware of God's presence and motives, I have been bought up as a Roman Catholic, My Grandmother is highly religious and I do enjoy and boggle over the bible, there are just some passages in it then I cant be like 'Yeah, That's why we have a path in life' 'That's 'cause of this and that' And it's really strange!

However,watching this has creeped me out a little. The ending finished with the 13 year old girl crying and stating, 'All my sins have been taken away from me. When Jesus died for me he took away my sins, I've asked Jesus to forgive me, because Jesus has come down and died for me" I'm sorry but she is a 13 year old girl, she hasn't lived she's been stuck in her house for 13 years...I'm not disputing the fact that God isn't real/is real I'm just wondering how and why her parents think that this is a healthy upbringing. Deborah also stated in this that if you have ever lied, stole, cheated or used the Gods name in vain then you're going to go to hell, with murderers and paedophiles...one word springs to mind...BRAINWASHED.

you can watch it here.

Anyways, enough of that I am starting to confuse and anger myself. I've been doing a website for my friend Heather, learning flash which is an absolute BITCH and i've been doing lightboxes which I have never done before so, good skill learning there.
Apart from that I've just been working and my parents are decorating my bedroom.

Some images I've been looking at and that have been inspiring me recently.

Dear Flash, I STILL hate you.

2009-04-16T02:29:00.004+01:00

I never usually get wound up or as angry as this but I am telling you if I was any more angry I would probably kill someone, this is seriously testing my boundaries.
How can one little task prove to be so frustrating?
I know I'm not the best at most things but I do value myself at being good at design programmes and I've always taught myself what to do and how to go about things.
But with Adobe CS4 I might, OH EM GEE.

I downloaded some SWISH thing and it does what I want but doesn't end correctly.
Anyways, I have three weeks to make a website.
Hardly any imagery and right now I'm just stressing.

On the brighter side of things my tickets for Eastbourne Festival Live came today from the lovely Matt with a cheeky postcard which made me smile.

I'm so excited for it.

Also, today at work all I did was do some designs for my Friends Mum for her Cupcake Company and literally played Zuma, Solitaire and Bejewelled for five hours.

Excellent.

Still haven't watched the Apprentice yet, Haven't had time, So SSSHH if you have seen it.
It's first on my list of things to do tomorrow.

Dear Flash, I hate you.

2009-04-15T02:59:00.003+01:00

I don't think I've ever been so stressed out in my whole life.
For one, Someone I've taken a fancied to completely stopped talking to me.
STRESSED
For two's (Is that even right?!) I decided to challenge myself and learn adobe flash from scratch with the help of on-line tutorials, however none of them proved to be any help and just stressed me out further.
So, I turn to livejournal.com/community/ru_flash for some direct help, all I bloody want is an easy transition like this
I created this using flash effect builder but as you can see it turned the image into a horrible bevelled engraved image (I can live with it though) and it unfortunately has 'Unregistered Version' across it.
Anyways, I take a more direct approach on livejournal and this guy has helped me 100%
he talked me through everything and I now have a semi-perfect transition.
I am writing this to calm myself down.
lolz

I watched Marley and Me, and about twenty minutes before the end it cuts off.
(It was a copy! SSSSSSHHHH don't tell anyone) so that made me quite enraged too.
I really enjoyed it though.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring a less stressful day!

Wasting my life away

2009-04-13T16:31:00.003+01:00

So since I've last updated I have had my birthday, I am now an official grandma at the ripe age of 22!
I celebrated it by drinking lots of wine and eating lots of good foods.
As well as going to see FAKE BLOOD at digital in Brighton on the Saturday.
it was brilliant.

I have also accumulated some fabulous vintage books, full of medical drawings, photos and wild life, I will defiantly be creating some collages from them quite excited about it.

Still online shopping and finding BARGAINS.

This is the cutest dress in the world.

I watched Cloverfield the other night...Bit unsure what to think about it. I think the cinematography was excellent but the storyline and the film itself was bit boring really and it just kind of stopped but I guess what more could they do with an alien attacking the city?! lolz

I used to love her but it's all over now...

2009-03-01T19:04:00.002Z

Topic of the day:

Contortionist
I'm not sure to be really amazed or freaked out.
It's outstanding how they can flip and turn and hold their entire body on a pole...
I can barely lift my leg up or do a hand stand lolz.

Love how they used to be 'freaks' in circus shows.
Weird...Yes but I'd say more talented.

High Order!

2009-02-25T17:00:00.001Z

Pimping out my main man Sean.
I've been friends with Sean since school (Av. 7 years)
We always shared a passion for photography, media, fashion, writing.
And Sean has finally hit the nail and created a fantastic blog of packed information...reviewing, bmxing, etc etc.

I got his stickers through this morning.

Check it out.
http://www.highorder.co.uk

I might go on a midnight stroll tonight and do some taggage around my area.
Even if Sean wasn't my friend I would still support this blog, the Photography is outstanding & inspirational.

So, After having the worst day of '09 yesterday. Self Assessment and Self Loathing is NEVER a good thing.
I have decided to be more focused...I know I wrote a blog explaining this in January but it's hard when you try and then you don't think you're good enough.

Anyways, If I'm not working I'm doing a pitch for the Pleisure Garden Festial on 4th March.
Still designing concepts for that.

I don't dare to touch your hand...

2009-02-18T00:32:00.002Z

I'm fed up of people who whine and bitch.
I am 70% guilty of this I must admit but NO more.
NEW, FRESH, me!

I would elaborate on that but like Christopher Biggings (My new favourite celeb!) said 'I just can't be arsed' If you didn't watch Come Dine with Me the other night then you will have no clue what I am on about.

So, What's new? not much, Still going through pitches with the Festival flyers, Slowly but surely getting there. Been working most days to bring in the $$$ I get paid this Friday and I am defiantly hitting up Urban Outfitters and Lady Luck Rules Ok!

I suggest you should all go and listen to Emiliana Torrini she is SWEET!

I fucking love this:

I might buy them all and wear them all at the same time LOLZ

I should probably get off online shopping sites....

2009-02-11T21:40:00.004Z

Because I want most things I see and either end up pining for them and getting upset that I can't buy them (I actually do get upset! not to the point of tears but I do start thinking that I'm a scrag) or I end up buying them and become broke!

What I have my eye on this evening:

I always take out a big bag when I go clubbing and my friends always take the piss out of it HA so, this would be big enough to fit all my shit in but small enough to be normal with.
Urbanoutfitters.co.uk, £38.

I love birds and I love knickers.
Urbanoutfitters.co.uk, £8.

Urbanoutfitters.co.uk, £16.

So don't know if I've informed the blogspot world of my little idea for setting up a mini empire of tees, badges and totes?! I've wanted to do this for about three years now, I asked one friend, she was up for it, but we never ever got round to doing any designs or thinking of anything together, then myself and my friend from uni came up with 'make love not war' discussed a few designs and unfortunately that's as far as it went. Now with Spasia who has had a similar background to me in terms of design (Went to University and quit, wanting to set up a mini empire but had no one to do it with) we've created 'The End' and I am SO excited to be doing this, especially with Spasia who is a fantastic artist. We are both hoping this is going to bring in some recognition and £££ we do realise that we can't just jump into this and alot of planning and researching needs to be done...!

Here are some really quick designs that I've done.

(Illustration by Spasia)

Also, Don't think I mentioned that I am getting highly involved in this mini festival that was successful last year in Eastbourne that it has appeared back...

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=51301286042&ref=ts

I am doing some flyer designs and web design for it as no one else seems to be interested in that side of things! I have done a few ideas already and I am meeting up with one of the girls who is organising it next week to get some solid colour scheming, sizing, fonts, information etc. down and ready to create! I am not getting paid for it but I'm sure this will boost my recognition and will it will give me something to portray on my portfolio.

I really like this concept of having the 'garden like' vines in the background.
I think it works well with the white writing but I am not sure whether to have it embossed or just leave it flat?

I haven't cried in ages but this makes me really close to crying.
I prefer it to the girls aloud version! Even though I've been told that musical it's a shocker but I am not musical so...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I know everyone is chuffed...

2009-02-09T23:56:00.003Z

But, I think the reunion of Blink 182 is going to be massive. They are one of those bands that I've always liked but never would state on my 'Favourite Music' sections or never thought I would miss but yes...tickets will sell out BIG TIME but I am hoping to get one, would be fucking cool if they played a festival in the U.K this year, HOW EXCITING.

My visit to Bath was absolutely awesome, really was one of the best weekends ever. Everything and everyone was just funny. Maybe it was because I was drunk before 5pm I don't know, but it was just awesome, plus I felt fine the next day! Wonderful.

Was watching White Chapel after work tonight and although I might sound like a twisted sicko for saying this but Jack the Ripper has always interested me, serial killers in general do, I think it's fascinating how people can think like that and be so obsessed with doing it...I remember going to the London Dungeon at the tender age of 12 and absolutely loving it, I walked about on my own for most of it because I found everything really fucking interesting...It's just fucking insane. I blame my Mother she loves reading horror stories! Eeeek.

Mary Jane Kelly, said to be the last one of Jack's brutal killings.

"The body was lying naked in the middle of the bed, the shoulders flat but the axis of the body inclined to the left side of the bed. The head was turned on the left cheek. The left arm was close to the body with the forearm flexed at a right angle and lying across the abdomen.
The right arm was slightly abducted from the body and rested on the mattress. The elbow was bent, the forearm supine with the fingers clenched. The legs were wide apart, the left thigh at right angles to the trunk and the right forming an obtuse angle with the pubes.
The whole of the surface of the abdomen and thighs was removed and the abdominal cavity emptied of its viscera. The breasts were cut off, the arms mutilated by several jagged wounds and the face hacked beyond recognition of the features. The tissues of the neck were severed all round down to the bone.
The viscera were found in various parts viz: the uterus and kidneys with one breast under the head, the other breast by the right foot, the liver between the feet, the intestines by the right side and the spleen by the left side of the body. The flaps removed from the abdomen and thighs were on a table.
The bed clothing at the right corner was saturated with blood, and on the floor beneath was a pool of blood covering about two feet square. The wall by the right side of the bed and in a line with the neck was marked by blood which had struck it in a number of separate splashes.
The face was gashed in all directions, the nose, cheeks, eyebrows, and ears being partly removed. The lips were blanched and cut by several incisions running obliquely down to the chin. There were also numerous cuts extending irregularly across all the features.
The neck was cut through the skin and other tissues right down to the vertebrae, the fifth and sixth being deeply notched. The skin cuts in the front of the neck showed distinct ecchymosis. The air passage was cut at the lower part of the larynx through the cricoid cartilage.
Both breasts were more or less removed by circular incisions, the muscle down to the ribs being attached to the breasts. The intercostals between the fourth, fifth, and sixth ribs were cut through and the contents of the thorax visible through the openings.
The skin and tissues of the abdomen from the costal arch to the pubes were removed in three large flaps. The right thigh was denuded in front to the bone, the flap of skin, including the external organs of generation, and part of the right buttock. The left thigh was stripped of skin fascia, and muscles as far as the knee.
The left calf showed a long gash through skin and tissues to the deep muscles and reaching from the knee to five inches above the ankle. Both arms and forearms had extensive jagged wounds.
The right thumb showed a small superficial incision about one inch long, with extravasation of blood in the skin, and there were several abrasions on the back of the hand moreover showing the same condition.
On opening the thorax it was found that the right lung was minimally adherent by old firm adhesions. The lower part of the lung was broken and torn away. The left lung was intact. It was adherent at the apex and there were a few adhesions over the side. In the substances of the lung there were several nodules of consolidation.
The pericardium was open below and the heart absent. In the abdominal cavity there was some partly digested food of fish and potatoes, and similar food was found in the remains of the stomach attached to the intestines."

So fucked up.

I ADVISE YOU TO LOOK AWAY NOW, IF YOU'RE IN ANY WAY SQUEAMISH OR CREEPED OUT BY DEAD BODIES.

Catherine Eddowes, 2nd victim.

Ah, something a bit more light-hearted I think before I sleep!

Even this creeped me out a little bit, Why the hell I'm I writing this at this time of night?

I can't wait to see you again...

2009-02-06T22:00:00.002Z

I cannot get Miley Cyrus out of my head and I'm not sure where she appeared from, because I haven't listened to it since being at my friends house who is obsessed with her and Hannah Montana...Oh well, there could be worse songs stuck in your head.

Does Rose wine go off? I opened it a couple of weeks ago, it's a screw top and I've barely had a glass from it...I'm not sure whether to take it on my adventure of not.

My adventure being a trip to Bath, My friend Ross has his birthday coming up next week but as he will be at University next week we have decided to go up tomorrow, it's supposed to snow so I am hoping we will get stuck so I don't have to come back to work. HA. It's going to break the bank but we all need a little road trip of fun sometimes!

Diane Arubus, 1967.
I saw identical twins at work the other day and it totally creeped me out, they were wearing the same clothes, they smiled at the same time, walked around each other...argh, it was really really creepy. I think I might have a phobia of identical twins? Dear lord please do not let me have identical twins when I'm settled and in love.
***
So, Valentines draws closer...It isn't and never has been a big holiday for me. I had a 'Valentine' a couple of years ago and even though we were on the downfall anyway lolz, it just made us argue more, as he loved the idea of Valentines and I wasn't it's biggest fan...I personally didn't want to go to London, Go the the Zoo then go to a show...(although that does sound quite appealing now!) just 'cause it was some day were you were supposed to show love and cheer. BLAH. Well, at the end of the day I think it's a waste of time, money it's waaaaaaaaaay too hyped and I don't like it. Maybe I'm just bitter? Maybe I just never care enough for stupid things like that...*** If I got a card like this I'd probably be sick on whoever gave it too me, How absolutely stupid...I just don't think you need a card to show that you care, you wouldn't be with the person if you didn't care...I really want to find someone who is as anti Valentines day as I am....RANT OVER.

Things I am currently loving.

- www.sammynikdel.com
- Manson interviews on you tube, he tries hard not to laugh and look normal! but we all know you are Mr.Manson.
- Joan Rivers swearing on Loose Women.

Bedroom.

2009-01-27T18:20:00.005Z

I clearly love Vivenne Westwood I don't know anyone who doesn't admire her as a person and as a style icon. Buuuut, I really do love Pamela Anderson, For one she was married to Tommy Lee (I <3 him) and secondly I saw her on 'MTV Cribs' a while back and her little beach house is gorgeous, all white french vintage furniture and roses everywhere it was so tasteful and gorgeous!

I just joined the Girls Aloud fanclub on livejournal lolz.

I am also redecorating my room and looking for a good patterned bit of wallpaper to cover one side of my walls.

My Mum doesn't like this one but I like it quite a bit.

WOW. I absolutely love this, reminds me of Pammy's house. Gorgeous!

A few little pictures I've seen whilst surfing around today.

eveline tarunadjaja, so cute.

This is probably my favourite photo ever it's so cute.
Really awesome film too!

Every Now and then I fall apart.

2009-01-25T12:06:00.001Z

And I need you more tonight, I need you more than ever!

Probably, one of my favourite songs of all time, I am particular fond of the way the wedding singer sings it in the film 'Old Skool' Brilliant.

Ha.

Haven't had time to do anything this week but work bit disappointed with myself but at least i get the dolla.

I want everything.

2009-01-19T23:17:00.002Z

I've been in London all weekend, Went to the Tate Modern yesterday. Pretty much fell in love with these;

From Cy Twombly

I love how art can be so untidy and messy but still so inspiring.

Zoe Leonard born 1961
Carnivores 1992-7

Photograph on paper
image: 561 x 381 mm support: 605 x 439 mm frame: 689 x 520 x 39 mm
on paper, print

Purchased using funds provided by the 2005 Outset / Frieze Art Fair Fund to benefit the Tate Collection 2006

Liked this alot too. I could spend hours walking around this place as well as other galleries. Bit bummed I don't live in London!

Amongst all the fun Fran (my sister) and I read on a facebook status of all places that our P.E teacher died...
R.I.P Andy Sibson.
Also, My old school teacher died of a heart attack yesterday morning, even though I left school six years ago now I still have very fond memories of him. He was the kind of teacher you could talk to about anything and have a massive laughs laughs with him. I also know his son, Luke and I just want to say that my thoughts are with you and your family. Mr. Sibson (Sounds so odd calling him Andy!) would of been 52 tomorrow! Which is even more painstaking. First death (Who I personally know) of the year. God bless you.

SHOOOOOOOOOPPPING!

Inspiration.

2009-01-15T00:53:00.003Z

I think my biggest inspiration is myself...Sounds bit cheesy/self-centered/narcissistic etc. But think about it, Who do you owe your life to except your parents...YOURSELF.

Who is the only one that can help you through life and make you conquer your dreams...YOURSELF.

Either I'm on a power hype of too much hot chocolate and cookies or I'm an absolute skitzo that has two people living her life. But, seriously though, I believe that we are not going to get anywhere in our lives if we don't put the effort in ourselves to strive at being the best...I know I'm clearly just stating the obvious there but I've only come to grips with being comfortable within myself and having the ability to say that myself and my work is good.

To celebrate this well known fact I am considering on purchasing...

purely just for the bambi inspired packaging, too cute!

I feel like I am going insane today.
I've literally been on my laptop since 10am this morning, with the odd break to pee/eat/walk puppy/exercise (didn't take long)/shower/clean up.

I've been doing a website for my first ever paying client. I feel bit mean taking money of him as he is a dear old friend but my Daddy said that I'll get no where if I don't abuse my services...He's only right.

I have always been doing mine, which will be completed very soon.
I love being a hermit geek.

Politics is no Superman after all.

2009-01-11T16:24:00.003Z

Use Somebody.

2009-01-11T00:37:00.000Z

For some reason I am absolutely besotted by this picture, I think it shows and reflects alot even if it is just a simple picture of the back of a males head in bed. I just really like it.

Ten days into 2009 and I've already cried. I wanted to list the things I did on the days I did them. Like a memo of good and sad things that happen.
Hmmm.

Brilliant.

Oh! And also I'm I crazy to buy this,

I think it's fabulous and a saving of 20 odd pounds. (£55 to £30)
Decisions, decision.

Birds Flew

2009-01-07T22:37:00.000Z

birdsflew.co.uk
birdsflew.co.uk
birdsflew.co.uk
birdsflew.co.uk

YES!

I had to change the name as bloodmoney.co.uk was already taken, bit annoying but at least I can line 'birds flew' with pictures of sparrows and owls (my two favourite animals)

Today was pretty average, Is it sad to be excited to go back to work? I think I crave attention from people way to much and work gives me that power...

Hmmm.

Spent that past hour on dafont.com I remember when I was at University and we created our own. That was fun, might try and get back into that.

So, more time spent on Urban Outfitters...

£32 now down to £4.99 I don't really like it that much but for £4.99 can't go wrong.

£38 down to £19.99, I'm probably just looking/buying these for the sake of it. HA!

OH! and also, vote for my friend, HERE! I don't know who the girl is but my friend took the picture and this girl is hot!

Are you ready?

2009-01-07T02:51:00.000Z

'Cause I am.

Urban outfitters is having a sale and it's so exciting.

They were £99 now down to £69...tempting.

Was £65 now, £.4.99...That cannot be right?!

I pretty much haven't moved away from my desk for two days, playing scrabble on facebook and creating this blood money: portfolio (domain name coming soon) it's pretty shoddy at the moment but at least it's up there.

I'm so excited about this year, I'm not going to allow myself get knocked down or in any stupid situations.

plug.
blood money: portfolio
blood money: portfolio
blood money: portfolio
blood money: portfolio
blood money: portfolio
blood money: portfolio
blood money: portfolio

I kissed a girl and I liked it

2009-01-03T02:44:00.000Z

Has been going around my head for days and days and days.
I do love Katy Perry though,

More the looks then the songs.

I'm thinking about getting a drastic hair cut, maybe half my head shaved?
I want 09 to be an awesome one, i want to do awesome things.
trouble is i think my mama might cry.

Talking about mama you can get this at mama san in brighton.

Fabulous.

Not much to say, Just stare...

2008-12-29T23:57:00.000Z

I feel deflated.

Vincent Gallo.

2008-12-21T00:33:00.001Z

A. Vincent Gallo used his personal website to sell his own semen. And his services in personally fertilizing a woman.

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS TRUE.
I would love my baby to have been fathered by him...

Nostalgic

2008-12-20T23:59:00.000Z

Listening to Deftones and the like reminds me of circa 1999, Good fucking times.
I feel failure arising and I hope I am 100% defeated by this thought.
Fuck.

I'm I going to be a star

2008-12-20T01:01:00.000Z

After 12 hours of work I feel so good about life.
I realise it's bordom that gets me down, keeping busy is the best thing for me.

I really like this...Yet I worry my designs are too simple...

Long, Dull, Boring Day.

2008-12-18T22:37:00.001Z

I wish i could make time stand still and work like a busy bee within the frozen time then re-start it and carry on but i guess i can't.

An actual genuis idea. I wish I thought of these little critters, simple but amazing.

I also created this today, loved it when i did it, now i'm not so sure.

Your thoughts please?

Good Evening.

2008-12-17T23:33:00.000Z

"So this is me the women you see, I'm not who I appear to be, I am strong and will not break, I don't care if you think I'm fake, Break me down and sin my woes, I always knew which way to go."

Hi People.
My first post, I've had journal before (Livejournal.com) that whine and woe I want this to be inspirational, not only to me but others who see.

Welcome.
XO

I am currently enjoying:

Cheek me so good!
This stuff is amazing, I literally put on a couple of dots in the morning and it lasts all day.
Benefit I salute you!

Very Interesting, If not a little wacky...Some people have weird needs.