Sunday, June 19, 2011

I know who I am, but who are you?

I've been re-reading The Bell Jar recently whether that's a good idea or not I'm not sure. I first read it when Gwen Stefani said she quoted it in some of the songs on Return Of Saturn (Loser I know!) also, shortly after finding this out I found out that the words Wiona Ryder writes in her diary in Girl Interupted is also from the book.

Here are some of my favourite quotes from the book:

The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 8

There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the extra person in the room."
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 2

The sickness rolled through me in great waves. After each wave it would fade away and leave me limp as a wet leaf and shivering all over and then I would feel it rising up in me again, and the glittering white torture chamber tiles under my feet and over my head and all four sides closed in and squeezed me to pieces.
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 4

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.'"
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 8

After reading these you will probably assume that I am in some shiverled mess about my life but to be honest I couldn't be happier right now. A few heart pangs are occuring and I'm trying to figure out if that is because I really care or if it's because, actually in reality I am a cold hearted bitch...

I remember writing all my stories about my life on livejournal - something that I'm very happy that I did do, I think it's important to write down your life, your passion, your fashion! As I become a touch typer aged 13 I felt that doing this online was the best way as writing it in a journal wasn't as easy for me as I couldn't allow myself to write as fast as my brain was thinking...I do wonder sometimes that life is just full of rules and if I say something that I strongly believe in I'm deemed a bitch...But I'm I? Least I'm honest...Ho hum!

In other news, I am doing a competition with Channel 4 and Don't Panic you can check it out here. Some really nice stuff is coming through and hopefully it's been sent off to the write people for some decent coverage. If you'd like more information please contact me on

In other other news, I'm completely in love with the idea of three of my best friends and I going to Longleat! HELLO little animals xxx and stately home and three of the best people in my life HELLO!!!

I LOVE this song and No Doubt are releasing an album real soon and I might piss myself when I go and see them because I am THAT excited...It would make my life for realz

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